Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Craigslist M4W Post No.6: Old People Get In The Way Sometimes...

If we’re lucky, we will all grow to a ripe old age. And, if we’re luckier still, we’ll do it with someone we love by our side. I think it would suck to grow old alone, especially as you become more and more dependent upon others.
 
That said, I would like to share a short story about something I witnessed today while shopping for groceries. I must warn you, this is sad, so be prepared. Have a tissue nearby and step away from the story if you need to.

Oh, I almost forgot, you will need to use your best shaky old lady voice for some parts of this story. I will place in parenthesis the letters “SOLV”, like this (solv), at points in the story where the voice will be necessary.

Old people sometimes get in the way. It’s not their fault, but it’s often a source of frustration for me. Have you ever been to Costco during lunch and then decided to grab one of those hotdog and soda deals while there? It’s a fast inexpensive lunch unless old people are there, and they always are. I don’t know what the heck is wrong with them, but they just seem completely oblivious to things happening around them.

They always hold up the line at the soda machine and condiment bar. I remember once, there was this elderly women in one of those electric scooters just parked in front of the condiment stand. She literally had like five hot dogs that she was attempting to adorn with all of the fixings. OMG! I wanted to simply push her little scooter the f out of the way. I mean, seriously, move it you old bat!

They shuffle around asleep at the wheel getting in the way. It’s Like we need to keep all of them on a leash or something, sheesh.

Well, that’s the way I used to think. I was one cold hearted son of a b. But, I saw something today that really put things in a new perspective.  Here comes the sad part of the story… L

I stopped to pick up a few items from the grocery store on my way home from work. As usual, the place was chock full o’ old folks, but, for the most part, things were calm. I stayed out of their way and they stayed out of mine. At least until I entered the cereal aisle.

I couldn’t get through because there was a tiny, frail, little old lady slowly and carefully reading the label on a bag of Malt O’ Meal cereal. Her cart was positioned in such a way as to block the entire aisle and she stood smack dab in the middle, shaking like a leaf, just reading away. Ugh! Dammit! Now, I have to wait, who knows how long, for her to finish and move on, Shit!

Suddenly, a younger woman appeared and walked up to the elderly lady. She slowly looked away from the bag of cereal and asked the younger woman (solv) “Can we buy this? Please…” To wit, the younger woman replied “No Mother, I’m not buying that. You’ll have one bowl and never eat it again!”

Oh my God, I… I just couldn’t believe it. My heart literally melted and a tear welled up in my eye. For crying out loud, it’s a $3.00 bag of cereal, who cares if she never eats it! Buy it for her! How many years did she put up with your crap? Did you forget the fact that she gave you life and raised you? Holly shit! It made me so freaking angry. The saddest part of all is that it didn’t end there.

That sweet little old woman later picked up a bag of Tootsie Pops. She, once again, carefully read the label, slowly looked up at her daughter and asked (solv) “Can we get these? Please…” and, once again, her daughter sharply turned her simple request down. It was one of the saddest things that I have ever witnessed…

I guess I’ll never look at old people the same way again. I’ll certainly try to be a little more patient from now on.

So, why is this post in the M4W section? Because I’m looking for a date, duh. I’m an awesome guy, I have absolutely no clue why I’m still single. 

I’m 6’ tall, 175 pounds, short brown hair, big dark brown eyes, and pretty cute :)

If you liked my ad and would like to get to know the guy behind it, I hope to hear from you. Until then, take care!!


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